I started down this particular rabbit hole because I am always looking for new poets and recently found the following post by Nikita Gill on Instagram. I don’t always agree with what she says but that’s one of the things I like about her. This post started me thinking about the dangers of platitudes in general and speaking without thinking specifically.
(Make sure you click on the arrow in the black box to see both posts in the set.)
Platitude – noun – a remark or statement, especially one with a moral content, that has been used too often to be interesting or thoughtful.
“he masks his disdain for her with platitudes about how she should believe in herself more”
Definition from Oxford Languages
I think this definition is lacking. It’s not just that platitudes are overused; it’s also that we use platitudes so we don’t have to think or feel. Platitudes allow us to move away from a situation or an emotion, feeling satisfied we have done our part. Yet many times, we have minimized and denied the truth and emotion of the the situation and done more damage than good.
Everything happens for a reason.
I find this platitude particularly offensive. We usually pull it out when something terrible has happened and our friend is trying to deal with all the fallout from a tragedy. With this platitude we don’t have to listen, we don’t have to understand, we just throw this out and justify our stupidity.
Next time you feel the need to use this platitude just stop. STOP. Instead listen, listen to your friend and don’t try to fix, don’t try to answer why; just listen and let your friend tell you how she feels and what she is thinking. Let your friend feel what she is feeling.
Everything happens for a reason.
…only if you include time, chance, stupidity, evil, a messed-up world, chaos, and no reason at all.
Blue Connotations 